3 tips for moms to go from exhausted to energized
In my coaching practice, I work with a lot of caregivers. This includes people in helping professions, like nurses, counselors, teachers, and public servants. It also includes folks who care for others at home, whether it's their kids, their parents, or other relatives who need support. And some people fill all of these roles. Many of these people are mothers. The most common thing I hear from these folks is that they are exhausted. They miss their energy. They want to feel like themselves again.
Does this sound familiar? You love and value your role as a caregiver. You want to enjoy the time you have with your family and be fully present. You want to meet everyone’s needs. And somewhere along the way, you want to reconnect with your body, your adventurous dreams, and your independent self. But you don’t know how to start.
What self-care shifts can moms and other caregivers make to go from exhausted to energized?
Figure out what you want or need to change. This sounds obvious, but for many exhausted moms, figuring out what's missing is the key step. You know you're overstretched, but you aren't really sure how to fix it. Taking a personal inventory of how you want to feel and why, how your health is now, and what your top priority is can help you make meaningful and realistic goals. This exploration takes a little dedicated attention upfront, but it is worth it. Most people can find an hour to do this if they make it a priority. The true challenge is often allowing yourself to focus on your own needs and desires. This process can include some intense feelings— and this is a sign that it's time to do the work. A tool like the energy kickstart or even better, a coaching session, can kickstart this process and give you some loving guidance.
Involve your kids. Moms often put their kids first when planning daily routines, but many routines can be shaped (or reshaped) to meet everyone's needs. Little kids often love to help. Bigger kids often want you to be happy. Your goals and action steps can involve them. Sometimes, you can make it a game. Sometimes, you can make it a teaching moment about being healthy and setting boundaries. What works for your family? Don't assume it won't work if you haven't tried it yet. I have seen many parents surprised at how successful they've been at turning their personal action steps into fun family projects.
Ask for help. When I ask "who could you turn to for support," many moms have plenty of ideas, but they've actually never asked. People can't read your mind! If you have a goal and need some help to meet it, who can you ask? Could your partner or your neighbor or your sister help you out so you can do your five-minute meditation routine? Do you need someone else to fold the laundry so you can do 20 minutes on the spin bike? Often the answer is "yes, of course." Sometimes it takes a little adjusting or negotiating, but it’s often much easier than you think.
Tiny self-care shifts can start to move the needle from exhausted to energized. Start where you are and you may be amazed where you go.
