Common, but not normal
In my clinical practice, I frequently see people who are living with health problems or symptoms that they think are either 1. shameful, or 2. just the way they have to feel. For these people I have an important message: What you are experiencing is common (you're not weird, you're not alone!) but it isn't normal (it's not the way bodies function at their best and you're not necessarily stuck with it). Or: you're not broken, but we can work on getting you better.
People can get used to all kinds of things-- we are highly adaptable and resilient. This is a good thing! It keeps us going and lets us persist even through stressful circumstances (like 2020). Just because we can tolerate something, though, or get used to it, doesn't mean we have to or we should. You don't have to "just live with" everything that happens to you. Not everything that happens to you is just a part of normal life or aging, and often, there are things that can help you feel better. Then, there's the shame part: Something that challenges your health and stamina doesn't mean you're weak or messed up or less-than. Actually, you are likely stronger than your non-affected peers-- you are keeping up with people who are carrying 10 pounds weights while you are carrying 50.
Some examples of 50-pound weights: Chronic pain. Low mood. Low energy. Drinking every day and forgetting what it feels like to wake up feeling good. Working nights for a while and forgetting what being truly rested is. A nagging injury that won't heal. I could do this for another few pages! There are many things that we carry around that impart our lives, and we've gotten used to them. We've forgotten how heavy they are!
Here's a non-medical example of how being adaptable can eventually lead to suffering for longer than necessary: I was getting my hair cut today, and chatting with my stylist about an ice storm that hit Portland last month and caused widespread damage and power outages. She said they'd had the ceiling collapse in their bedroom and it was just now (a month later) getting fixed. She went on to say that this wasn't that surprising as they had already been without heat for months, since the furnace was broken and the landlord hadn't repaired it. She said this like it was no big deal. They'll fix it eventually. It's a good apartment, other than that. It's a big real estate company; they'll get to it. This woman had just gotten used to wearing her winter coat in the house and sleeping in the living room and decided it was OK for now. She'd gotten used to it. Tenants' rights issues aside, wow. That's a lot to just get used to. Now think about how we do this with our bodies. Oh, my left foot just hurts now. Oh, it's always hard to stay awake at 3 PM. Oh, I never get good sleep. It's fine. Yes, these things happen all the time, but no, you don't have to just get used to it. Let's talk about it and figure out what might make you feel better. I do not promise we can always get rid of every symptom and cure every chronic illness, but chances are, we can get you better. You might not get the support you need to find "better" from a doctor's office, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. You, friend, are the owner of your body and your health, and it's your prerogative to tinker with it until it works. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
